I Hate It That I Love You
by Luzilla
Summary: Erisol Humanstuck (I'm bad at summaries -.-) Sollux is struggling through life but finally manages to find a job and an apartment. There, he meets Eridan Ampora. Despite his constant insults, Eridan begins to make Sollux have romantic feelings towards him, and vice versa. Will Eridan be able to face Sollux's bad side, and will he be able to save him from it? (M for lemons later)
1. Chapter 1

Screwing open the top of his medication bottle frantically, Sollux popped three pills into his mouth and swallowed them dry. Sighing heavily, he braced one hand on the cold bathroom sink and ran the other one down his face as he felt his eyes start to burn. _No, this was so not happening. I would not cry. No fucking way. Not on the morning of my first day of work._ He took a deep breath and stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The cold fluorescent light cast harsh shadows across his too-hollow cheekbones and he slipped his two-tone glasses over his bicolored eyes. Lately his "condition" had been getting much much worse. After his breakup with Feferi, things had gone straight downhill. He was surprised he wasn't living on the streets by now. He was diagnosed as "severely bipolar," probably a case of a shitty childhood with an abusive dad. He had been insecure, unhappy, depressed, you name it, until Fef came along. His relationship with her had saved him, and things were looking up until she came to know the "true Sollux," and had called it off as if their relationship was nothing. That was almost a year ago, and he was just barely slugging his way through life.

He shook his head in attempt to clear the thoughts and grabbed his keys, heading for the door. His belongings consisted of his phone, computer, wallet, keys, and a few items of worn-out clothing. _Oh yeah, and the shitty, barely-standing apartment_. But it was better than nothing. He was at least somewhat happy about his new job. Working at the apple store just down the street would be pretty easy with his weirdly-good programing skills. He pulled open the glass door to the store, and was greeted by a curvy woman with long, somewhat tangled black hair and a name tag reading "Vriska Serket." She smirked down at him.

"So," she said in an almost mocking tone, "You must be the new Sollux Captor."

"Yup thath me," Sollux mumbled, his mood already plummeting and his insecurity pressing down on him from every angle.

"Well welcome, "Thollux," and I hope you don't screw up," she mocked as she handed him a name tag. She then proceeded to show him the basics of what he needed to do, which weren't hard at all, except for the fact that he was trying not to punch her in the face with every snarky remark and flip of her dark hair that she made. Suddenly, he heard the glass door open and a man stumbled in, tossing a bunch of designer bags into a corner and sighing loudly. He was just a little shorter than Sollux (who was a whopping six feet) and he had thick rimmed hipster glasses with a flamboyant striped scarf and designer pants and shoes. The whole of him reeked "hipster." But that didn't keep Sollux from noticing how damned attractive he was, how his straight jaw was framed by light freckles, and how dark his eyelashes were_. _His mind did a double take._ What the hell am I thinking?! He's another guy! I'm not gay….that I know of…_ All the strange thoughts quickly evaporated when Eridan turned towards him and raised an eyebrow.

"And who's _this?_" He asked Vriska, cocking his hip out to the side and crossing his arms. Sollux had to grimace at the attitude and cringe a little at the bright purple stripe in the front of his perfectly-styled hair. He was going to have to put up with this for a long time, because, apparently this snooty guy worked here.

"This," Vriska said with a glare, "is Sollux Captor. And Sollux, meet Eridan Ampora." Sollux groaned inwardly as Eridan turned his nose up and huffed, brushing past him. He couldn't help but notice his perfect ass in those skinny jeans as he walked by, swinging his hips. Sollux walked over to his station and prepared for the long day ahead of him.

The day passed fairly quickly, to his surprise. The customers were nice enough, and he managed to stay away from Eridan. Mostly. Every time they would pass each other, Eridan would make some remark about his lisp, and Sollux would tell him to "fuck off." This went on for seven whole hours. He sighed as the doors closed for the final time today.

"Wow," Vriska remarked,"I'll have to say, that went very smoothly for a first day of work." She nodded at him in approval and grabbed her bag from the corner, tossing Eridan the keys and telling him to lock up. When she left, Sollux faced Eridan who was leaning against one of the metal tables casually.

"What the _fuck _ith your problem with me?!" he asked, not even trying to stay calm, "What did I ever do to ditherve this kind of treatment form you?" Eridan just looked up at him and smirked. "You athhole, do you even have a reason?!" Sollux yelled.

"Aww poor "Thollux," he can't even say an insult correctly," Eridan said in mock sympathy that was heavy with sarcasm. Sollux gave him a death glare. He absolutely hated it when people made fun of his lisp.

"Fuck you, Ampora," he growled, and stormed off. He made his way home feeling weary and trampled.

Eridan glanced at Sollux as he stormed away. The first thought of Sollux that had crossed his mind was: _Damn, he's hot. _But one thing that Eridan could not do was show affection well. That's why he had only been in a few relationships his whole life. So, just like a little boy in middle school trying to win over a girl, he couldn't help the endless insults that automatically spewed out of his mouth. Which happened to be one thing Eridan was very good at. He had found Sollux's sore spot: his lisp, and was planning to poke it and prod it until he snapped. This was the only way he knew how to get Sollux's attention. Only one day, and Eridan was already craving more.

Meanwhile, Sollux climbed into his ratty bed and drifted off into a slumber that, like usual, was plagued by nightmares. But then he heard a buzzing from his nightstand and cracked his eyes open groggily. His phone was vibrating, someone texting him. He wondered who the hell it would be at one in the morning. He groaned and flipped onto his back, fumbling for his glasses and his phone. Slipping on his glasses, he peered down at a number he'd never seen before. He opened the text curiously.

**hey Sollux wwhats up?**

**Oh it's Eridan by the wway**

What the fuck? How the hell did you get my number?

**Oh haha Vriska gave it to me**

Ok 2he'2 a total bitch. Why the hell are you texting me at two in the morning then?

**Im bored. Amuse me**

Don't tell me what two do, fuck face.

**Wwell that wwasn't very nice, Sol.**

2ince when did I allow you two call me "2ol"?!

**Wwhat's up with your wweird typing, anyways?**

My phone'2 crappy and my "eth" (with a li2p) key fell off so I use "2." What2 wrong with _your_ screwed up typing?

**Wwell Sol, I choose to type like this.**

Oh great, that nickname'2 2ticking, i2nt it?

**yes**

Why aren't you a2leep?

**I have insomnia.**

Oh 2orry about that. I know how you feel…

**Fuck you! You havve no idea how it fucking feels!**

Uh I think I might, actually

**No you don't. You feel so sorry for yourself because of your fucking lisp! "Oh poor little Sollux can't talk right" blah blah blah! **

Uh...

**guess what?! NOBODY CARES. So just shut the fuck up about your little insecurity problems and leave me the fuck alone! Don't act like you care, I know you don't. NOBODY DOES. EVER. You are a wworthless piece of shit and you should just suck it up and quit complaining. Nobody wants you and nobody ever will. Just one look at you, walking with your shoulders all hunched and head down, just waiting for someone to come and make you feel better. **_**oh just look at that poor guy, he must be having it hard. **_**You don't know hard. I barely even know you and I can tell you that theres no wway that you can empathize with me. Its all in your head. Deal with it or go run crying to your mommy about your little problems.**

Sollux stared at the small screen of his phone in shock. _Where did that come from? _He read Eridan's message over again. He blinked and a drop of something fell onto the phone screen. He brought his hand up to his pale cheek, wondering if he was bleeding. But he soon realized that he wasn't bleeding, he was crying. Hot, salty tears began rolling down his cheeks silently, and he sniffed. Soon, sobs started wracking his frame and he curled around the sheets, squeezing his eyes shut in attempt to make everything disappear. He opened them to see his small pocket knife resting on his bedside table. It just sat there, taunting him.

_just two small cuts, Sollux. Then everything would be gone._

No. shut up

_Nobody wants you anyway, Sollux._

SHUT UP!

He heard his phone buzz again.

**wwhy do I even bother talking to you? **

Sollux's fingers hovered over the buttons, wondering what he should say. should he agree with him? Argue with him? Insult him? He couldn't make it obvious how much his message had hurt him.

Yeah I know. I know nobody want2 me. Yes I'm u2ele22. And I deal with it, just barely. I'm not looking for people to feel 2orry for me. It might be better if I wa2 just gone. There2 a perfectly good knife right here. I have no friend2 anyway, no one who will miss me. And I would al2o rather you not talk to me. It doe2 neither of u2 any good.

Oh, and my mom? 2he'2 dead.

Eridan stared at his iPhone blankly. Then his eyes widened.

"Wha-" he said aloud. He didn't mean to blow up that much at Sollux. His outburst was more about his own problems. He sat up farther in bed, pushing back his purple flannel sheets and praying Sollux wasn't serious.

**Wwait Sol, I wasn't that serious!**

Oh, 2o now your taking it back

**wwell yeah, I don't want you to do anything!**

But you're right. Nobody want2 me. That'2 why my dad beat me and then abandoned me.

Eridan looked at his screen in shock for the second time. _Was he serious? _

**That's not true! People want you!**

Pfft. My girlfriend who broke up with me wa2 the only per2on who ha2 ever cared about me. And then 2he 2topped when 2he actually got to know my condition.

**wwell I know someone wwho cares about you. **

Eridan groaned, regretting what he typed and wondering what he was going to say. He was so not going to say he had a crush on Sollux. Although it was true, there was no way he would believe him after the way Eridan treated him.

Oh yeah? Do tell, Eridan. I'm dyying two know over here.

He could practically hear the unamused sarcasm in Sollux's voice. His heart started speeding up as his fingers began pressing the touchscreen.

**Uh are you bi, Sol?**

What? Where did that come from? And no…I don't think so

Sollux blushed, not sure of himself. _Was_ he bi? He'd only just started having strange thoughts around Eridan. But that didn't mean anything, did it? And why did _he _want to know?

**Oh**

Eridan's heart plummeted, face drooping as he ran a hand through his now messy hair. He sank back into his down pillow and rubbed his face with his hands, sighing.

Are you?

**Yeah, I'm gay. It's pretty obvious, dont'cha think?**

Uh, well I gue22 2o. No offen2e, though

**pfft, none taken.**

**Look, I'm sorry about my outburst. I shouldn't have made any assumptions.**

It'2 fine

**I knoww it's not "fine" and I don't need you to accept my apology. But I just wanted to tell you anyway**

Thank2 I gue22

**so how do you like your job?**

I 2till hate it with you around.

**oh thanks, that means so much to me.**

are you ever going to 2top insulting me?

**haha maybe someday**

ugh, great.

**I'm gonna go to bed**

alright. sleep well

**thanks, you too. See ya tomorroww**

yeah. Bye

Eridan imagined sollux in his bed, clutching his sheets, his dark hair messy and ruffled. He wondered what he was wearing. _does he sleep in pajamas? in his underwear? what kind of underwear does he wear? _Eridan blushed even more as he realized how much his mind was wondering. And then covered his face in embarrassment as he felt the place between his legs heat up. _oh gog, this is embarrassing. _He pulled his pillow out from under his head and over his face, groaning and trying to ignore his "problem."

Sollux sighed and rubbed his eyes, feeling like Eridan might not be so bad after all. He wondered what he was thinking at the moment. _is he thinking about me? No, you're the least of his problems. _This time, he ignored the negative voice in his head and sank into his mattress, falling asleep fast and dreaming of a certain boy with glasses and a purple streak in his hair.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sollux cringed at the sound of his dad yelling. Not yelling, bellowing. He curled up under the covers, trying to block out the noise. But through not only the layers of cloth, but the walls, too, he heard the whip of a belt and a wail of pure pain. Then another. And another. He knew it was his parents in the other room, his dad with his thick leather belt with the brass buckle, worn from overuse. He knew his mom, too kind, wasn't strong willed enough to fight back. And he knew what would happen next: his dad would storm out of the house, and go to a bar where he would then drink the family's money away. Soon he felt the room shudder from the slam of the front door. He could hear his mother's quiet sobbing from across the room, a combination of Sollux's brother's death and her abusive husband. He could feel himself crying silently, wrapped up in his covers and curled up against the wall. He was used to this, this routine of his dad beating him and his mom. He would never forget how his dad would look him straight in the eye, gaze unwavering and sweat beading on his balding head, and shift his weight to one foot as he brought the belt across Sollux's side. He wouldn't forget the reek of alcohol on his father's breath as he panted after the beating, storming out of his room to get his fix of alcohol. Then Sollux heard a loud, ear piercing bang. He opened his eyes and quietly unwound his small form from the covers. Making his way towards his parents' room, he cracked the door open. There was his mom, laying splayed out on the floor. A gun was in her limp right hand, and a gaping red hole shown through the soft, pale skin under her chin. He walked forward a step, where he collapsed on his knees and lay on the floor next to his mom. He stared at her lifeless form, soft dark hair spread around her head, and realized that this was the first time she'd looked happy in years._

Sollux's eyes snapped open. His cheeks were wet, he had been crying in his sleep. The dream played over and over again in his head and he sat up in bed, groaning. It wasn't the first time he'd had this dream, he'd been having it for years. The incident with his mother had hooked onto his mind like a parasite, eating away at Sollux with every passing day. He sighed and glanced at his clock. 5:20. Lots of time. He pulled his laptop onto his lap and started some quick programming. He opened up his IDE (integrated development environment) and started pounding out code frantically, in an attempt to block the scene from his mind. A small "bing" signaled that someone was messaging him. The noise sounded much too cheerful to be the person who caused it. Sollux groaned.

CaligulasAquarium [CA] began messaging TwinArmageddons [TA] at 5:45 AM

CA: **hey Sol**

TA: ugh you agaiin?

CA: **yep. Deal wwith it.**

TA: diid you 2leep at all?

CA:** for 45 minutes. That's a new record.**

TA: Jeez. What do you do for all that tiime?

CA:** Wwell I mostly paint…**

TA: Oh, really? I diidn't know you were an artii2t

CA: **Yeah I'm amazing, I knoww.**

TA: I'll have two 2ee them for my2elf. Ii2 there a rea2on why you can't 2leep?

CA: **My brother is constantly fucking girls and guys and his mattress is right up against my wwall and squeaky as **_**fuck**_**.**

TA: Oh wow…that really 2ucks, I even feel bad for an a22hole liike you. Where are your parent2?

CA: **Oh thanks Sol. and dad's never home, mom's cracked up on antidepressants**

TA: You're iin a bad mood, aren't you

CA: **Shut the fuck up, asshole.**

TA: great. Im _2o _lookiing forward to seeiing your lovely face at work

CA: **Fuck you. I can practically hear your voice in my head and it's already pissing me off**

TA: Ii2 my voice too har2h for your royal ear2?

CA: **Yes. Quite.**

TA: God. Why diid you even 2tart talkiing to me?

CA: **wwell I was goin' to tell you but then you started pissin' me off again.**

TA: 2o you're 2aying you have a rea2on thii2 tiime?

CA: **Yeah I wwas wwondering if you wwould cover my shift tomorroww.**

TA: Why, Iif you miind me a2kiing.

CA: **I'm going dowwn to southern California for a surfing trip with my friend and it wwould be awesome if you covvered friday. Then I could get twwo days of surfing in.**

TA: You surf? And wow I can't beliieve you even _have _a friend.

CA: **Shut the fuck up. And yes, I've surfed for a wwhile. Wwil you do it or not?**

TA: Yeah fiine, but you owe me a22hole.

CA: **Thanks **

TA: Iit'2 fine. 2ee you at work

CA: **bye.**

****TwinArmageddons [TA] ceased messaging CaligulasAquarium [CA]

Sollux shut his laptop and ran a hand through his hair. He cringed. _I should probably take a shower. _He stumbled over to his bathroom, still sleepy, and splashed cold water on his face. He pulled open the mirror to reveal a small cabinet behind it with a toothbrush, toothpaste, and his pills. He screwed open the bottle and took the pills quickly, trying not to think much about it. As he set the bottle back on the counter, he noticed that the rattle of the pills was loud and spaced. There were only 12 pills left. He dismissed it, making a mental check to get more at the hospital later. Pulling back the molding plastic shower curtain, he stripped to nothing and turned the water on to full hot.

Stepping in, he winced at the heat, but immersed his whole body in. The scalding water washed his pain and stress away, and it felt good, if only for a few moments. As he scrubbed his body with soap, he watched as the suds dripped and swirled into the drain. His eyes blurred for a second and suddenly the floor was wooden, and the soap was a deep scarlet, the color of his mom's blood. It pooled around his feet, staining his skin red, and he gasped, stepping back and pressing himself against the cold shower wall. He blinked and everything was back to normal. The porcelain tub was a dull white, no blood stained his skin or the drain. Sollux sighed. He was used to this. He turned the squeaky knob and pulled back the curtain, wincing as cold droplets from the curtain flicked onto his still steaming skin. Drying off with the threadbare towel, he thought of Eridan. He wondered what it would be like to have your older brother take home multiple people every night, with no parents to stop him. Sollux had been through things no one should have to go through, but he still couldn't imagine how revolting it would be if his older brother, Mituna, would do that. _But Mituna's dead because of you. He's dead because you're a coward. _He tried not to let the voice get to him. Slipping his clothes on, he grabbed his stuff and shuffled out of his apartment, locking the door behind him.

At work, he saw Eridan who scowled at him as usual. He was sure to scowl right back. He talked to Vriska for a bit, apparently they were getting two new workers tomorrow, and then made his way towards Eridan. As he got closer, he could tell that he was in a worse mood than usual. His hair wasn't quite as spiked as it could have been, and his face looked like it was locked in a permanent frown. _He still looks cute, though, _Sollux thought, but quickly shook it off.

"Whath bothering you?" Sollux asked.

"Nothing," he snapped, "Shut the hell up, idiot" He ignored the comment and went on

"You know I won't," he said with a smirk, "Tho will you tell me?" Eridan blushed and looked down, muttering a curse under his breath.

"Well," he started, "I was wondering if-" He was interrupted by the first customer entering the store. Sollux shrugged it off. After all, he didn't need Eridan's problems on his shoulders, he had enough of his own. He hopped off the table he had been sitting on and went to help the customer.

Eridan stared after him, eyes wide. _Holy shit was I just about to tell him I liked him? _He let a breath out through his mouth, thankful for the customer's interruption. As he watched Sollux help the customer, he sighed. _I really have no chance at this. He totally hates me, and he's not even gay… _

_ "_Eeeeridan?" He snapped his head up in surprise to be met with Sollux's face a tad closer to his than it should have been, his eyes squinting at him through his oval glasses. He jolted back, eyes widening and a blush spreading across his cheeks _I was totally spacing out_.

"Wha-what?" he stuttered. Sollux pulled back and chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. Eridan stared at him. _God, he looks so hot like that it's infuriating._

"I've been trying to get your attention," he said, "there mutht be something on your mind." He shifted and continued,"Anyway, there'h a cuthtomer over there who you thhould conthult. You're the app perthon, I can deal with the hard thtuff." He walked off and Eridan glared at his back, sheepishly stepping over to the customer and hoping he wouldn't get _too _distracted today.

At noon, it was time for their lunch break and Sollux was out the door before Eridan could ask him where he was going. Truthfully, Eridan kept making him have weird (not exactly bad) feelings in his stomach, and strange thoughts, and he needed to get away and process them without Eridan distracting him. _What a better place than Starbucks. _As he pulled open the door, he breathed in the rich aroma of coffee and smiled slightly. Ordering a cup of dark french roast, he slid into a chair and put his head in his hands. He leaned his elbows on the table and sighed. _I don't want to deal with the way he makes me feel. _He paused, realizing something._ No its not that. I don't _know_ how_ _to deal with it. _He took a sip of his coffee, noticing that they spelled his name wrong for the millionth time, and slouched into his chair. Suddenly, he could see a pair of striped skinny jeans and groaned, shutting his eyes. _Speak of the devil. _Sollux pushed his glasses down to rub the bridge of his nose, preparing himself for what would surely come. There was a huff of air as Eridan plopped down in the seat across from Sollux. He flicked his scarf back and sipped at his caramel mocha, staring at Sollux. Sollux's stomach fluttered and he frowned at his reaction.

"What do you want?" he sighed.

"To talk to you," Eridan stated, "don't you think we should get to know each other a little more? We _do _work together" Sollux was about to respond, when a small strand of purple hair fell in front of Eridan's face. He had a sudden urge to brush it back, and he brought his hand up before realizing how weird that would be, and dropped his hand to the table. It landed with a loud _thunk, _making the drinks on the table tremble. Eridan stared down at Sollux's hand with a confused expression. _Fuck. Why did I almost do that? What the hell? _Eridan took another sip of his mocha and licked his lips. That barely visible sight of his tongue sliding from between his lips made Sollux's stomach jump again. That set him off. He frowned again, standing up and pushing his chair back with a loud rattle on the tile. He grabbed his drink and glared down at Eridan.

"Jutht-jutht fuck off" he said with exasperation with himself. He saw Eridan's sparkling aqua eyes blink once at him in confusion before he stormed out, ignoring the wide-eyed glances pointed in his direction. He leaned against a building wall a few blocks away and felt his eyes start to well up. _What's happening to me?_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I finished the cover thing for this story. Yeah, it is pretty crappy and it's just a picture from my sketchbook…oh well. I didn't want to take someones work without permission^^** **Oh and **_**please **_**review. It would be much appreciated :) Anyway, on with chapter three (oh and there is smut-ish stuff at the end, so be warned ;3):**

Eridan blinked at the now empty chair in front of him. _What the hell did I do wrong? _Still confused, he finished his coffee and wondered what had ticked sollux off that much. _Maybe he's sick. Or just mad at me for something. _He narrowed it down to those two options and sighed, heading back to the apple store. Sollux was already there, making a point of studiously ignoring Eridan. Eridan could tell, however, that Sollux kept shooting him nervous glances out the corner of his multicolored eyes. By the time the store had closed, Sollux had pulled on his coat and stormed out the door, shoulders hunched and hair tousled from the biting wind outside. He hadn't said a single word to Eridan since lunch. Eridan walked slowly and silently towards the glass wall. He pressed his fingertips against the cool glass, longingly watching Sollux's receding form bent into the wind. His great fogged up the cool glass and he turned around, a dejected look on his face.

"Wow," Vriska remarked, "He was sure in a bad mood."

"Yeah no kidding," Eridan sighed, pulling open the door and wincing at the freezing gust of wind. He shivered, wrapping his scarf tighter, and made his way to his car. He hopped into his purple Mini Cooper. The sight of it always cheered him up, and he smiled a little bit. Driving over to his apartment in the Castro, he thanked his car once again for being small enough to fit in the tiny San Francisco parking places. Pulling open the door to his three story apartment that he shared with his mom and brother, he collapsed face first on the couch. He tried to relax but thoughts of Sollux kept drifting through his head. _Dammit I can't fuckin' keep him out of my head. _He wondered if he was ok. After all, his family situation was far from fine. He wondered if something happened to him. Groaning, he felt around the coffee table for his laptop without moving his position. _Fuck. I have to get up._

He huffed as he pulled his face from the pillows and scooted the laptop onto his lap, kicking up his legs to rest them on the table. Logging in, he was slightly surprised to see that Sollux was online.

CaligulasAquarium [CA] began messaging TwinArmageddons [TA] at 11:45 PM

CA: Sol are you OK?

**TA: ii'm fiine**

CA: Wwhy were you actin like that?

**TA: why do you care?**

CA: Don't sass me Sollux

**TA: PLea2e ju2t leave me alone Eriidan.**

CA: Come on. Do you wwant to talk about it?

**TA: ii've ju2t been feeliing weiird lately**

CA: Wweird, howw?

**TA: I keep gettiing the2e weird feeliings iin my 2tomach.**

CA: Are you sick? Maybe you should stay home!

**TA: No not liike that. Ju2t….nevermiind**

CA: Sometimes I wworry about you Sol

**TA: Let'2 change the 2ubject. Who are you goiing 2urfiing wiith?**

CA: Oh, my friend Feferi. She's been my best friend since wwe wwere little.

**TA: Wait, Feferi Peixes?**

CA: Uhh yeah, do you know her?

TwinArmageddons [TA] ceased messaging CaligulasAquarium [CA]

Eridan narrowed his eyes at his screen. _Jeez, more weird behavior. _He shut his laptop and heard a noise from the outside of the door. Slowly, he crept up to the peephole to look out. There was his brother, Cronus Ampora, sloppily making out with another person whom Eridan couldn't see. Eridan groaned with exasperation and trudged to his room, taking his laptop with him. Soon enough, he could hear Cronus and the other person banging around in the room next to his. Pulling off his shirt, scarf, and pants, he climbed into his bed and put his earphones in, turning his phone up to maximum volume. The music wasn't helping, so he decided to text Fef to get his mind off of his brother.

CaligulasAquarium [CA] began messaging CuttlefishCuller [CC]

CA: Hey Fef wwhats up?

**CC: )(-Ey -Eridan! I'm so -Exited for tomorrow!**

Eridan sighed. Her excitement was contagious, but her texting quirk was a big pain in the ass to read.

CA: Yeah me too! Wwhat time should I plan on arrivin'?

**CC: )(mmmm, w)(at about 2:00?**

CA: Yeah that sounds great.

**CC: Sooo, -Eridaaan, )(ow )(as your looove life been going? 38D**

Eridan rolled his eyes. He could practically hear the singsong tone of her voice.

CA: Wwell I dunno there's this one guy but he's completely not interested. He doesn't even like guys :/

**CC: Awwww but you n-Ev-Er know, you just )(ave to mak-E your mov-E!**

**CC: glub**

CA: But I'm scared he'll say no…

**CC: W-Ell you'll just )(av-E to t-Ell )(im your f-E-Elings if th-Ey'r-E r-E-Ely that strong! 38) Glub W)(at's this guy's nam-E, anyways?**

CA: His name's Sollux Captor

**CC: Wait, seriously?**

He wondered what was so wrong that she stopped with her texting quirk.

CA: Yeah, wwhy?

**CC: Uhh Eridan, I don't think you should get very close to him.**

CA: So you knoww him?

**CC: Yeah, I dated him for three years**.

CA: Wwoah, are you serious?

**CC:Yeah. Please don't get a crush on _him, _Eridan. Anyone but him.**

CA: Noww wwhy do you say that?

**CC: Do you know about his….problems?**

CA: Yeah, most of them I'd say

**CC: Well you can do what you want but let me just say, they're more severe than he lets on.**

CA: Okay…thanks for the advice I guess, but nothing will probably happen anyway, he seems to only like girls.

**CC: W-Ell I gu-Ess w-E'll )(av-E to s-E-E )(ow t)(his all plays out.. 38/**

**CC: Just, tak-E my warning in mind.**

CA: Okay, I wwill

**CC: S-E-E you tomorrow th-En! I can't wait!**

**CC: glub**

CA: Awwesome! see you then :)

**CC: By-E-E-E!**

CA: bye Fef.

CuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased texting CaligulasAquarium [CA]

Eridan frowned at the screen and flopped over onto his belly, pulling his pillow over his head. _God, I'm so tired. _He was looking forward to his day off tomorrow. He really needed to get away from his family and he hadn't been surfing in a really long time. He had to be sure to give Sollux a huge thank you later, if he wasn't off having major mood swing or acting totally weird. He wondered if Sollux was thinking of him.

* * *

Sollux,meanwhile, was fast asleep. But instead of the stressful nightmares he would have normally, his dream this time was much, much different.

_He stretched out on his bed, lost in the feeling of the person on top of him rubbing his collarbone and weaving his fingers through Sollux's hair. The person was Eridan, straddling his hips and kissing him passionately. Eridan moved his knee to rest between Sollux's legs, right up against his crotch. Sollux moaned against Eridan's mouth, and Eridan moved his lips to suck and lick Sollux's neck. Then Eridan began to grind his hips into Sollux's, blue eyes filled with lust and cheeks flushed. _Sollux moaned in his sleep, thrusting his hips into the mattress. The movement woke him up, and his eyes snapped open. He furrowed his eyebrows in surprise and sat up. He felt…different. He pulled back the sheets and looked down. _Holy fucking shit no fucking way. _He groaned in frustration and embarrassment, pulling off his now dirty boxers and making his way to the shower. His cheeks were flushed as he threw his underwear into the laundry hamper and turned on the water. _I am so fucking glad that I don't have to see him at work today. There would be no way I could look him in the eyes without blushing. _Getting out of the shower, Sollux remembered that they were getting new workers today. Trying not to think too much of his dream and why the fuck he had it, he got dressed and hopped onto the muni heading downtown.

Opening the door to the store, he saw three new workers. One was a short guy with messy hair who was yelling ferociously at Vriska who was smirking down at him, another was, _what the fuck, _licking a computer screen, and the last one was looking up cat pictures on google images and squealing. The one who was licking the computer made her way over to Sollux and grinned up at him.

"I'm Terezi Pyrope," she said to him, "and your name is?"

"Uh, can't you read the name tag?" he asked.

"Cant you see," she said with a tilt of her head, "I'm blind." Sollux only then noticed the cane she held, and how her eyes were covered with bright red pointed glasses.

"Ah, I thee," he said, "Tho ith that why you were licking the computer over there?"

"Oh yes, indeed," she replied, grinning again. Sollux wondered why in the world Vriska hired her. He moved on to the guy yelling at vriska. As he approached them, the guy shut up, turning towards Sollux and narrowing his eyes at him. He crossed his arms and glared at Vriska before introducing himself.

"Sollux Captor," he almost yelled, "The name's Karkat Vantas, a pleasure to meet you." he held out his right hand and Sollux shook it. All of a sudden, the girl who was looking at cat pictures ran up from behind him and pounced on him, hooking her arms around his neck and squealing "Karkitty!" Karkat jolted and his eyes widened with shock before he started yelling.

"JESUS FUCK NEPETA GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME FOR THE LAST TIME I DON'T WANT TO PLAY YOUR WEIRD ROLEPLAY GAMES!" She stuck her bottom lip out into a pout but let Karkat go.

"Aww Karkitty you're no fun"

"Ugh stop calling me that!" She then caught sight of Sollux staring at them in amusement and her face brightened.

"Sollux!" she squealed as if he was a long lost friend, "I'm Nepeta!" She smiled from under her blue hat with sewn on cat ears to give him a giant hug. Sollux laughed.

"heh nice to meet you too, I gueth."

The rest of the day passed in the blink of an eye, even though Sollux was covering for Eridan's shift as well as his own. By the end of the day, he was wiped out. He had to run around helping the new workers figure things out, and had to help extra customers. He tried (and miserably failed) to keep Karkat from losing his temper at a few of the customers. He also had to try to keep Nepeta from getting distracted by cat pictures. He _also_ had to keep Terezi from licking any of the customers, especially the ones with red shirts. By the end of the day, Karkat was complaining about a sore throat, every tablet, computer, iPhone, and iPod had a picture of a cat as it's background, and most of the touch screens were blurry with Terezi's slobber. He grimaced as Vriska, looking tired as well, threw him a wipe and told him to clean all the screens.

Arriving at his apartment, he fell onto his bed and closed his eyes. It had been a long, stressful week but in general his mood had brightened a bit from getting new friends. This thought brought his mind back to Eridan. _And that fucked up dream._ He wondered what was up with the feelings he kept getting towards Eridan. He recalled the time in the coffee shop, how distracting his tongue was, how he wanted to brush back that stray strand of hair, and the dream. Suddenly it all made sense. "I-I like him" He said aloud. But he was still confused. _That must mean I'm bi. _He wondered what Eridan's reaction would be if he told him that he liked him. _Probably disgust. That's what you deserve. _The voice was back. _Eridan said it to you, no one will ever love you. You don't deserve anyone's affection. _Sollux sighed, for once agreeing with the voice, and tried to go to sleep. As he layed sideways on the pillow, a single tear slid from under his eyelid, trailing its way down his cheek before soaking into the threads of his pillow.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, I reread the story and am trying to come up with a more interesting plot -.-**

10:00 PM, Saturday:

Sollux laid in his bed with his computer, smiling contentedly. He had spent pretty much the whole day programming, which had taken a lot of his stress away. He was in such a good mood that seeing Eridan's massage pop up in the corner of his computer screen didn't make him mad or frustrated at all.

CaligulasAquarium [CA] began messaging TwinArmageddons [TA] at 10:00 PM

CA: Hey Sol

TA: Hey Eriidan what'2 up?

CA: You didn't tell me you dated Feferi.

Oh. Sollux's good mood plummeted. How had he forgotten about Eridan's trip with Feferi?

TA: Wa2 I suppo2ed two?

CA: Wwell I guess not. Did she break up wwith you?

TA: Yeah. After three years.

CA: Wwoww I'm sorry.

TA: I've been gettiing better. Ii've been 2ort of diistracted lately al2o.

CA: Oh? By wwhat?

TA: ju2t…2tuff

CA: what kind of stuff?

TA: I don't want two talk about iit.

TA: How wa2 2urfiing?

CA: It wwas really fun. I didn't even need a wwetsuit, it was so wwarm.

TA: Awe2ome. Are you coming back tomorrow?

CA: Yeah I'm leavving in the morning

TA: Well I have to go, I'll see you on Monday.

CA: Wwait, why don't wwe do something Sunday?

TA: Uhh, okay what do you want two do?

CA: Wwe could meet at the Starbucks downtown.

TA: 2ure, what time?

CA: does around noon sound good? I'll pick you up.

TA: Yep 2ee you then. My address is 224 A on Mission st.

CA: Okay see you tomorrow.

CaligulasAquarium [CA] ceased messaging TwinArmageddons [TA] at 10:20 PM

Sollux blushed. _This is sounding a little too much like a date. _He closed his laptop and went to sleep, looking forward to tomorrow but dreading it at the same time.

Saturday 11:30 AM:

Sollux woke up not feeling quite right. He was too hot. Then he was too cold. But he was really angry at everything. The sunlight streaming through the windows was really pissing him off, the low hum of his refrigerator was making him mad, and the dirty dishes on his sink were intimidating him. He stormed over and picked up the dishes, raising them over his head and smashing them all on the tile floor with a frustrated yell. Then he kicked his chair over. A part of him wondered what was wrong with him, but the rest wanted to smash things and get all of his anger out. Then he started feeling even worse. His heart sped up and he could feel himself sweating even though he was only in his boxers. Pricks of heat pierced his brain like needles, and he clutched his head. His hands were trembling and his vision was tinged with read around the edges. His breaths quickened and his chest ached. He arched his back as a ripping pain split down the middle of his forehead. All of a sudden, he could hear a light knock at his door. He backed away from the sound, curling in a ball in the corner of his room. _It's Eridan._

Eridan stared at the door, hoping it was the right apartment. After the second knock, there was still no answer.

"Sollux?" he asked cautiously. No answer. He gently turned he knob, and to his surprise, the door was open. He peeked inside and a worried look came across his face as he took in the broken dishes and toppled chair. Then he caught sight of Sollux. He was crouched in the corner of the room in an almost feral position, disheveled dark hair falling in front of his eyes. And he was staring right at Eridan. He looked dangerous, and Eridan yelped when he sprang forward and pinned him against the wall. Eridan stared up at him, terrified. Sollux had a crazed look about him and he forced Eridan against the wall with his hips firmly pressed against the other man's. He bent over close to Eridan's ear and his fingers slipped under the hem of his shirt. Eridan blushed when he realized that Sollux was half naked and looked up at him with a confused expression. _What the fuck is wrong with him?_

"Uh, Sol, w-what are you doin'?" he stuttered. Sollux didn't respond. He just pressed closer, leaning into Eridan. Eidan's skin tingled at the feel of Sollux's bare chest pressed against him. But something was wrong with him. He could see his skin covered in a sheen of sweat, and he seemed to have an impossibly high fever.

"Sol," he yelled, "Answer me!" Sollux opened his mouth to reply, but instead he collapsed, going limp in Eridan's arms. He was out cold. Eridan picked him up and layed him on his bed. _He's really sick. _He went to the sink and got a clean cloth, soaking it in cold water and then wringing it out. He brought the moist cloth over and layed it on Sollux's forehead. His face looked somewhat peaceful, but there were dark bags under his eyes and his cheekbones were too hollow. _Maybe Fef was right, theres more to his sickness than I thought. _Eridan brought his hand up to Sollux's cheek and stroked it lightly, fighting the urge to bend down and kiss him. _Because, yeah that would be the most wonderful idea. _He sat next to Sollux on his bed for the next hour, watching him closely as he slept and changing the cloth once and a while. His fever seemed to be slowly subsiding. Finally, he woke up. His eyes cracked open to see Eridan staring down at him. "Eridan?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm here, it's okay," he said softly. Sollux reached up to Eridan's face, groaning and muttering a quiet "Fuck" before passing out once again. Eridan wanted to call one of Sollux's family members and ask them what was wrong with Sollux, but had no idea who to call. He figured that he most definitely could not leave Sollux alone in this state, so he layed down next to him, closing his eyes and drifting to sleep. Five whole hours later, he woke up to see Sollux staring down at him. He no longer had the crazed expression, and the burning redness was gone from his cheeks. He still didn't have any proper clothes on though.

"Uhh, Sollux," he started, "are you ok?" Sollux broke out of his trance and put his face in his hands, leaning against the headboard. Eridan scooted up next to him.

"Eridan I'm tho fucking thorry," he whispered, "I totally ruined your day, didn't I?"

"No," he replied,"It's fine as long as you're ok."

"I fucking forgot to take my pillth," he sighed, "I don't know how I didn't remember." _Oh, _Eridan thought, _It makes sense now. _Eridan nodded. "And I can't remember anything from earlier. Are _you _ok?" he asked. Eridan blushed and looked down.

"Yeah I'm fine. You were, uh, passed out on the floor when I got here and I put you on the bed," he lied.

"Oh thank god," he groaned in relief," Well, thankth a lot Eridan, you can go now. I'll be fine." Eridan looked at him, perplexed.

"Are you kiddin' me?" he asked, "No way am I leavin' you here alone! I'm spendin' the night over here whether you like it or not!" Sollux smiled at his dramatic tone.

"Okay," he said, "but you'll have to thleep on either the bed or the floor becauthe I don't have a couch or anything."

"Fine by me," he replied. His stomach growled loudly and he realized that he hadn't eaten anything all day. Sollux let out a short laugh.

"Leftover pathta ith in the fridge and the microwave'th to the right of the counter," he said, "You can deal with it yourthelf if you're inthisthting on thtaying here." Eridan glared at him before prepareng himself the food. Sollux said he wasn't hungry.

A couple hours later and after a few long conversations about swimming and computer programming, they decided it was time to go to sleep. Sollux hadn't put on any clothes since the morning. He climbed under the covers and stared at Eridan. Eridan just stood there awkwardly, wondering what he should do.

"Aren't you going to put on any pajamas?" he asked nervously.

"Nope, I don't wear pajamas," he replied. Eridan remembered the time when his mind drifted into wondering what Sollux wore to bed. _I guess I figured it out, _he thought, blushing. He finally decided to take his shirt off but leave his pants on and he climbed in bed, trying to get as far away from Sollux that the twin sized bed would allow. Sollux had stared at Eridan's bare chest, dumbfounded. He wasn't ripped, but his chest, arms, and stomach were very well toned and his body was shaped perfectly. Sollux longed to reach out and trail his fingers along the muscles.

Eridan flicked the light switch off, and the room became completely black. They could tell that they were both wide awake, laying there tensed up as they both tried to quiet their breathing. Eventually, though, they both drifted off to sleep. Not long after, they woke up and Eridan was curled up around Sollux. Realizing how awkward that was, he jumped back and muttered an apology. Sollux just chuckled in reply. Eridan could feel the mattress shift as Sollux moved onto his side, taking all the covers with him.

"Sooolll," he whined, "you have all the blankets." Sollux didn't respond, so Eridan yanked the covers towards him. Sollux clung onto the covers, turning to face Eridan. He yanked the covers again, but this time Sollux shifted even closer to Eridan. He couldn't see where Sollux was, just a vague outline of his head that kept coming closer and closer to his. He could even feel a few strands of Sollux's hair brush against his forehead and his warm breath brush across his cheeks. Eridan's eyelids fluttered shut and he parted his lips, waiting. But nothing happened. He felt the mattress sink down as Sollux laid back down and tossed the covers back towards Eridan. Eridan looked over to Sollux, only seeing the back of his head. He could feel his eyes begin to burn and sniffed once, cheeks flaming in embarrassment. _What the ever-loving fuck just happened?_


End file.
